Depression both sucks and blows

[God I love that sucks and blows thing.... Somebody mentioned it in a Shakespeare's Sister thread, and it's just stuck with me.]

I've mentioned it before, but it's recently relevant -- I have depression. Not the "have the blues sometimes when my boyfriend won't call me back" type, but the "haven't gotten out of bed for 3 days except to pee and don't really want to see another human being again" type. Fortunately it's medication controlled, mostly.

Unfortunately, sometimes I have break through blues. Days when just getting out of my pajamas is an accomplishment. Days that, if it weren't for the people (and animals) who love me, I don't think I would bother. KarateMonkey and I call them "sad days".

Lately there have been several sad days in a row. It makes it hard to blog, because the little voice in my head, with no basis in rationality, says "Who the fuck would want to read what you would write anyway?" And while I know it's the depression talking, I still listen. It's hard not to.

So posting has been light. I'm feeling better. Lots of hugs here at home, and that helps. So, my point is twofold:

1) If someone you love is depressive, hug them lots. It means the world to them, even if they can't say it.

2) If I post that it's a sad day, please think happy thoughts for me. Sometimes I think I hear them.